Submitted by Carrie Knuppel from her days in the Dorms in the early 80's.
We feel this was appropriate even back then.
The Last Will and Testimony of a Lakenheath Dormy
The dormies stomachs at Lakenheath dreaded each time they had to ingest.
Food, I think that’s the name they gave it
For World War III they ought to save it.
It could destroy a city or a town,
or knock any human-being down.
The turkey roll we eat each night,
in goes my fork and it puts up a fight.
And the hamburgers they expect us to eat;
I don’t believe they call it meat.
The spaghetti that wiggles like worms on our plate,
Popped up and asked the corn maggot for a date.
When you come to the bacon, eat it fast,
if you want to conserve your gas.
The royal dinner is chicken-a-la-king; you can see why they beheaded the poor thing.
The meatloaf, the meatloaf, a soybean treat,
is this what a bean looks like when it’s in heat?
The chicken dates back to the year 1601,
when no one knew the meaning of well done.
Oh my God, a French fry on my plate,
I better eat it before it’s too late.
The pink glazed doughnut, Oh! What a creation,
they are the dormies only salvation!
Written by Tonja Stewart, Tina M. and Ruby Knotts